One of the most annoying questions that I often read in Aunt Agony/Dear Thelma letters are girls who make a big issue out of a small tissue.  So, once and for all, let me get this off my chest.

How important virginity to a girl depends on her upbringing and religious beliefs.  How truthful she is about it depends on what kind of person she is.  So long as she goes into a relationship with an open eye and be truthful about it when the next one comes around, it does not matter.

I had one conniving colleague whom I can bet my last dollar is not as innocent as she claimed because she previously had one guy who cooked for her in his apartment (meaning lived together).  (duh, who is she trying to lie?) However, she insisted she was the pure, virgin bride when she married this rich guy who is much younger than her.  The guy was damn innocent.  She was damn conniving.  You know what she did?  She claimed she had a bad case of UTI (urinary tract infection) and cannot have sex on her wedding night.  Due to her purported UTI, she said she had to be examined vaginally and claimed that she lost her virginity to the nurse who examined her.  Duh!

Anyway it is none of my business but I seriously think it is extreme bad if a couple lied about issues like these even before they were married.  Of course, one does not have to lay down all their past sexscapes but certainly, one cannot claim to be a virgin bride when she is not.

If I have a daughter, I don’t think I will lose sleep over her virginity.  Of course, our religious faith does not allow pre-marital sex.  But then, a mom can only pray and nudge and nothing more.  However, if I have a daughter, I would insist that she knows the risk of having a sexual relationship.  It is not the virginity but the  ‘why’ of it.

Girls should go to bed with a clear objective.  Is it for her own pleasure and going a step deeper in her relationship?    Is it her own choice and will she accept responsibility for her own action?  Or is it ‘oh so melodramatic’ way of ‘If I don’t have sex with the guy, he may dump me’ case.  Or just because it is cool not to be a virgin.
Anyway, to those girls who are crying over split milk, I would tell them to go examine their own life a little deeper.  Is a relationship worth working on if the guy cannot accepts you for your past mistakes?  Of course, if a girl had been sleeping around with not a single thought of her future, then, she deserves to be dump by that one, single, most wanted Mr. About-to-Right because like most males, they may not be able to  bear the thought of it.

So, whatever, never reveal too much about your pasts to a guy but never lied about your virginity too.  As for how important it is, it depends on what your mom told you.  Are you going to be so guilty about losing your virginity and need to run to Dear Aunt Agony or is it a none issue over that tissue?