Women Only!
I think the best way to avoid wedding jitters is to not to have a ceremony. Chinese weddings especially have so much ceremonies, it will make you think twice. Before you are even married, there are rules and regulations to drive you nuts. It is a very old feudal thing, I believe. The bride is made to feel like she is going to be sold to the groom. There are dowry involved. Things to bring to the groom and etc etc.
So, I was smart that I never bother with anything because I know I have short temper and I won’t stand any nonsence from either side of the families. Nah ah, no way am I going to subject myself to old traditions and stuffs like that. These aren’t going to help me out of deep shit if I get into trouble. So why bother following it?
The best thing about getting married is for the couple to just take it as another day. No big deal about it, sign some papers, get a nice dress and that’s that. Enough. No frills, keep the thrills to ourselves.
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Back when I got married I wanted to have a little cocktail party, wear a regular cocktail dress, have a jazz combo playing and just have the brief ceremony in the midst of it. I got talked into a big wedding. And now here I am divorced anyway.
IF I marry again and the groom has also been married before, I am going to petition hard to just go off onto the beach with my immediate family and a minister.
We didn’t have a wedding/ceremony, just registration, then back to work and later lunch with my family during the weekend. At first, we thought of taking those everyone gonna said “don’t look like you” pictures, but when two procrastitors get married, 21/2 years fly, and photos still not taken. My parents though very traditional, they are very low profile and sket “ma fan”, that’s how we got away with(or rather without)the ceremony.
Traditions, ceremonies, etc are part of your chinese roots. Its part of who you are. I am not saying that we should follow all the rules. My wedding was a very simple simple affair. A church wedding, no chinese banquent just a lunch reception outsinde the church, had a chinese tea ceremony for a sign of respect for the elders, that it ! It cost my husband & I less than $5,000.00 excluding our honeymoon cost !