It is raining. Michael Bubble is so soothing. I haven’t write any emo post for a long time. Maybe I want to look back on this one day. So, one emo post hot out of the oven.

Sometimes, little things that we never expect appeared to make us very happy. Sometimes, just when you need that extra prop to keep going, someone appeared to give you that nudge and push. Not a push but an approving nod, a knowing look and a few words that say I am doing fine.

Very few people know and understand that despite of my visible craps, I have a hidden demon, just like everyone else. The need to feel accepted. The little approving sign that I am good. The acknowledgement that I exist.

I do not know how or why but I asked about something related to Oprah. I do not know why I blurted the question to him. Maybe because I know he will be able to offer me that answer.

And he said he knows I blog. OMG!!!! If someone tells me that my siblings know, I am fine. If someone tells me that my ex-boss knows, I am fine too. But this is not someone that I want to show my evil side to. I need to behave with people like that. How often I have said that if I keep going on and on with whatever I am writing, I am going to be kick out of the ‘organisation’. I told a little white lie and gave him other URL, not mine.

And the next day, he called me by my name. I went double OMGOMG because I thought he knows that I am a blogger. But I didn’t know he actually READs my daily personal blog and that’s how he knows my name. He couldn’t know my name because I am invisible. I am a nobody. I don’t exist. I am the meek mouse that goes quietly to do what I need to do, and leave quietly in the same way.

The thought of it now makes me so nervous. I am like ‘eeek….aiyoh, die ler, didn’t I just wrote something so silly as body hairs? Did he read it?’ *runs and hides*

Whatever …….now that I know, I think I have better confidence. He said that just do it, don’t worry too much, leave everything to His hands. He should know better. And I am glad I discovered this at a time when I was so lost with the decision I made. I know if I get into deep shit over the decision I made, he will help me out. And I am so glad he knows that it takes a lot of courage to do what I did. He knows that it is not something that just anyone can do it.

Thank you, Lord for that coincidence. Thank you for making me ask a question and get a discovery.